The Useless Lebanese Army

There many not be another nation more steeped in grotesque and delusional grandeur than Lebanon. This is a country which is home to a nationalist trend which truly believes that Lebanon is a great country. That there is such a thing as Lebanese civilization and that Lebanon far from being a 20th century invention is, in fact, the oldest country in the world dating back 5,000 years.

This nationalism is born out of a Lebanese inferiority toward the “White Man.” So the Lebanese invent this notion of being a “civilization” and being “superior” to the neighbors in order to make themselves feel better. And part of this nationalism is inventing myths about Lebanon and the Lebanese.

In Lebanon’s press, there is an obsession with reporting about this or that Lebanese expatriate who has made it big in business, or in the media (some of it is lies) in order to “prove” that the Lebanese are some genetically special people. It is delusional, but many – if not most – Lebanese really believe that they are “special”.

And part of that “specialness” is defining grandeur is some of the most ludicrous manners. One would think that a truly great nation would at least have unity instead of constantly being on the verge of civil war, that it would have a functioning government, that it would provide electricity to all its people (nobody in Lebanon since the civil war has 24/7 electricity, if you can afford it you buy a generation when the lights go off), and that Lebanon would have a higher standard of living.

No, for the nationalist polemicist in Lebanon who go on about how “great” this nation is, the “greatness” of the Lebanon is “proved” because 1) they simply say that Lebanon is great without adding anything else, we are just supposed to believe it is great because somebody says it is 2) make up lies about “Lebanese history” and “Lebanese civilization” (there is no Lebanese civilization and any “Lebanese” history does not predate the 20th century) or 3) take a silly exercise and pretend that that “proves” Lebanese “greatness” when it reality it just demonstrates how pitiful this nation often is.

Take the Army. The Lebanese Army is a joke. Not once has it ever defended the nation and for 18-years of Israeli occupation it was known for serving hostility. The Army has officially outsourced defense of the country to youth volunteers. The Army is a laughable joke. It is utterly incapable of doing anything. It known has it ever demonstrated courage or bravery in the face of Israeli aggression and wars.

But because this is Lebanon, where real greatness is often substituted for the fake and delusional Lebanese nationalist notions of “greatness, the Army think that it proves it “strength” through other means: biting the head off a snake. Look at this idiot!:
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This is an annual ritual by the Lebanese Army where soldiers “prove” their strength by biting off the head of a snake. This is due to the Arab proverb of a man being so strong he can bite off the head of a snake.

And these idiot soldiers and many in Lebanon think this is what makes their country and their Army so “great”! It is sad to think anyone is bought by such cheap nationalist propaganda and delusions.

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