Last night, the reality tv show, “Living Lohan” premiered on the “E” channel.
Here are some of the forgettable highlights:
-Dina Lohan (a.k.a. Lindsay’s momager) revealed to the world that she reads the tabloids everyday to see if there are any false stories about her children in it. (So basically this bitch reads, the National Enquirer twenty-four seven and has her attorney on speed dial!)
-The Lohan family lives in Long Island New York. (Loud-ass yawn!)
-Nana (a.k.a. Lindsay’s grandmother) is constantly hounded by the paparazzi. (Again, loud-ass yawn!)
-14 year old (although this kid looks about 19 years old) Ali Lohan (a.k.a. Lindsay’s baby sister) revealed to the world that she is working on her first album which incidentally would have never happened if she wasn’t related to Lindsay Lohan. This snot-nosed brat would be paying her dues in the music industry just like everybody else but there is something to be said about nepotism in Hollywood. (Shame on you Ali, for riding your nasty-ass famous sister’s coattails! Hey kid, your 14 years old, you’re old enough to know better! If not, that’s your job Dina! Oh wait a minute I forgot, you don’t have a “real” job nor have to get one because you live off of your famous kid!)
-Ali signed some autographs while out on the town with her brother and babysitter. (However, nobody had the guts to tell her that the autograph seekers really thought that they were getting Lindsay Lohan’s autograph because the two sisters look so much alike. So now all the autograph seekers will get is 10 cents for the autographs instead of the 1000 dollars that they had hoped for. Hey Ali Lohan, get your own identity so regular average joes and jills can make some decent money!)
-Dina talked to Lindsay on the phone. (Yet again, loud-ass yawn!)
-Novice music producer, Jeremy Greene played a track that Dina and Ali both liked. (Hey Ali, don’t you know anything! If your mother liked the same song as you then the song sucks! Ali always remember that there is something to be said about the generation gap.)
-Ali applied a gallon of fingernail polish to her nails and 50 tons of makeup to her face thus making her look about 19 years old. (Hey Dina, shame on you for letting your 14 year old daughter walk out looking like Tammy Faye Baker on a good day, you joker!)
But on the bright and sunny side, I just can’t wait until next week when the second episode of “Living Lohan” comes on! (Folks, im being incredibly sarcastic here.)
Until next week, sayonara and loud-ass yawn!