With the rise of the internet and social media, we have certainly become aware of one fact. To be able to become popular, you have to be fake i.e. you must portray yourself the way people want you to be and not how you are. Most of our idols i.e. the celebrities symbolize the pinnacle of this fakeness. The few of us who really make an effort to bare our real vulnerable selves do so at the risk of public shaming, and so we rarely do it, which raises some big questions like, ‘Have all our lives really become Warholian tragedies?’ ‘Have we started judging the book by its cover?’.
Well, no matter how much Instagram and Snapchat might force us to believe otherwise, the answer to all the above questions would be a big no. If you live in reality, you would know that we are far from losing everything. All of us are fake at one time or another, some more so than the others, but that doesn’t mean there’s no genuineness left in our lives. In fact, most of us long for genuine human interactions. It is the only thing that makes life worth living. Since most of us are unable to keep pretension for long, if we are having any stable relationship in our lives (even if it is with our pets) it is because that we are genuine in it.
Why do people fake then?
We act fake because there are simply too many platforms for fakeness now. It goes without saying that most of us have to be fake at work, but fakeness has also invaded our casual social interactions now. Just take a simple example. You want to post a picture on Instagram and for that you take couple of pictures. In one of the pictures, you look exactly how you look in person, but in another one you look hundred times better, almost like a celebrity. So, which picture would you post then? Obviously, the second one. And it’s not just you, it’s almost everybody. All of us do the same, not just with pictures, but even with what we write and share on the social media. It’s because some occasions simply need us to be fake.
5 Occasions where you have to be fake
1. During Interviews
No one would pay you for watching your favorite sitcom on Netflix. But in case you haven’t discovered your purpose, this is what you might be good at doing. You can’t say the same at the interview. For most of us, our job is something that we do just to make our ends meet. It is rarely to our liking. Therefore, at an interview, it is necessary that we keep it just to the point, even faking a bit won’t hurt. Be prepared to put up a willing and understanding face and present yourself the way it is required of you to crack the interview.
2. On Casual Dates
Nowadays, hook up culture is on the swing. Even if you are looking for something meaningful, it might take a lot of trials and errors. So, if you are going on a Tinder date, you shouldn’t show your genuine self too soon. You should try to appear humorous and friendly, which might take a lot of faking for many of us. Being too genuine on such an occasion might make the other person uncomfortable.
3. With Clients
When it comes to clients, you always have an ulterior motive in mind. Faking is not just necessary; it is compulsory here. By faking we don’t mean lying. You are presenting the truth, but with better outer clothing. You have to do this because by being too real with your clients you might stand the risk of losing your side of the bargain.
4. With people you don’t like
Dealing with people that you don’t like is an art. If you aren’t on personal or professional terms with that person, simply ignoring them is enough. However, if it so happens that the person is your colleague or boss or an important relative, you need to fake as much as you can, just to be on good terms with that person. Expressing your genuine feelings to them would just create chaos and nothing else.
5. On your social media account (especially if it is public)
When it comes to your public social media account, follow this biblical quote “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.” Your genuine feelings and thoughts are far more valuable than you think they are. You shouldn’t put themup on a platform where they are open for scrutiny by the masses, which has all sorts of people in it. Nobody likes being judged for their innermost feelings, but on social media judgement is all you would find.
Can’t you be genuine then?
Yes, not only you can be genuine, you have to be genuine. Everyday you should spend time with people with whom you can be who you are. People with whom you can discuss your innermost thoughts, about what happened during the day and about what you thought about it. If shame or guilt doesn’t hinder you from sharing something with the people you love, then you have found the right people. Who are these people? Let’s take a look.
With whom can you be genuine?
1. With Your Partner
Your partner is the person with whom you’ve been sharing intimate moments for a very long time. This builds a considerable amount of trust. So, he or she should be the one with whom you should be able to share all your secret thoughts. In case you don’t have a partner, you should keep this as your first criterion while looking for one. If you are spending quality time with your special one where both of you can be genuine self, you are free to be fake to the rest of the world.
2. With Kids
Nobody is more genuine than little kids. Except for when it comes to something inappropriate, you can talk about literally anything with them. In fact, the truest self within us is also a child and in the company of young children we can unleash this true self. Especially in our own children we can identify our own childhood. Being too authoritarian would forbid you from having this wonderful experience. Therefore, it is necessary that you be as genuine with your children as you can, as that would also be beneficial in their upbringing.
3. With Close Friends
If there’s something that you can neither express with your partner nor with your kids, you would definitely be able to do so with your close friends. Although when you find someone who clicks really well with you, you already know that they are going to become one of your close friends one day. Nevertheless, when it comes to an honest confession, it is always better to trust someone with whom you’ve spent quite a lot of time and have already shared a lot of secrets. There’s no better way to gain a clear conscience than having no secret thoughts in your mind.
4. With Family
Depending upon how close your relation is with your parents, siblings, as well as your immediate family, you can share a part of your trueself with them. Since they have seen you grow up, and share a genetical bond with you, they would know you inside and out, and might prove to be the most patient and understanding people that you would ever find. Furthermore, if your relationship with your family is deep and strong, you won’t even have to speak to them. They would understand how things are with you, just by taking a look at you.
5. With Your Pets
Even if there’s no human with whom you can share your genuine self, at least with your pets you can do. Don’t underestimate the value of having a pet in your house. They could prove to be your ultimate stress therapy. For people, who have limited human interactions in a day, having pets is a must. You can talk to them, play with them, embrace them, feed them, pet them and what not. They would always love you no matter who you are.
It’s very easy to blame someone as fake, but when you go to the depths of what it is fake and what is genuine, you find that no one (including you) is 100% fake or 100% genuine. More than anything else, it depends upon the people that you associate with and the type of interactions you have with them. One thing all of us can do to throw away this illusion is by curbing the time that we spend on social media. Nothing supplements real and genuine human interaction, as at the core of our being we are social animals and not social media animals.