Marriage is a sacred institution; it is a relationship requiring care and love to nurture the relationship. But one can never be sure of deviating minds even in a pious relationship. Extra marital affairs have been common and to be able to keep an eye was simpler. But given the current scenario of cyber affairs where your marriage could be at stake just a click away. The question that would arise will be who doesn’t use internet for hours consistently these days. I spend a lot of time on the net shopping, looking for interesting articles, commenting, staying in touch with friends across globe, making world a smaller place. But before you would know, the internet use could be the defining factor in your life, putting your life at a serious halt. It is better to be aware then to cry later of ignorance.
A survey has brought online relationships under scrutiny, making them a big reason for divorce. Nearly one thirds of the litigations filed for divorce have online affairs as ground.
Pertaining to online relationships, it says that Fault divorce becomes relatively simpler to establish. Proof of wrongdoings being emails, browser history, etc, such evidence can be used to clearly establish emotional cruelty and adultery. According to American Academy of Lawyers, 79% of divorce attorneys say that internet use age of the spouse is now used in court. 44% believe evidence form spy ware programs are on the rise.
An intense internet relationship is considered infidelity just as going to a hotel room with someone. In court of law, cyber affairs have been treated as infidelity.
In response to this survey, 46% of the men thought that holding internet relationships as ground for divorce is completely ridiculous whereas 72% of the women thought otherwise. They believe that such relationships can be serious and be grounds for divorce.
To find out whether your spouse is involved in any such relationship, following are a few steps for a quick check:
1. Question and figure out for what reasons your spouse stays online for hours together.
2. If you have nothing to hide, hide nothing, including your passwords, e- mail accounts, IMs from your spouse. If your spouse hides these petty details until and unless it is a company secret, it should be enough to raise an eyebrow.
3. Does your partner panics when you intrude his private internet time? Shuts internet connection or computer or simply opens a new page? Well we have all done this in teenage while on net and hiding it from our parents. But in marriage, it should not be such. Well he/she should be comfortable enough to be able to share his details on the net including pornography.
4. Is the position of the monitor, placed in such a position so as to avoid you?
5. Is the internet history cleared every day to hide the actual usage of internet?
6. Is it an everyday affair to be working late nights, long after you’ve gone to sleep to finish that project, is it really that important or the motive is something else?
7. Is internet the new addiction for your spouse and it is difficult for you to stop him/her to use it.
8. Social networking sites being a hit, it is not difficult to come in contact with strangers and sharing personal information including photographs, do you suspect your spouse doing rounds with these sites and chat rooms.
As teenagers, we have all done these things to avoid parents’ attention, but when this happens in a relationship like marriage, it surely is a warning.
All these steps could be a guideline, but mind it, you got to be really sure of what you are about to do, for unnecessary blaming and doubts could trouble your otherwise calm marriage. One needs to be really diplomatic whether the partner is really cheating or is it just an attempt to get some space. So be sure of the intentions before you do all the spying!