Recently one of my aunts decided to marry an American guy who is her colleague n hearing this most of the members of our family including my mom has shown great disapproval.It is this incident which provoked me to write the article below
All Indian parents want an Indian groom for their daughters, even many girls from the west also have a craving for the Indian men because they r considered ‘good’ boys who make better husbands compared to their western counterparts .I guess this mentality crops from the huge no. of divorces happening in the west compared to here . The great loverboy image of Indian men potrayed in Bollywood movies who are ready to do anything to win their beloved hearts ,shed profuse amount of blood in saving her from the most dangerous criminals has a huge hand in charming the western girls(who are unaware of the true nature of Indian men) too. But the actual picture is quite different from the general idea people have about the men here.The divorce rates are lower here isn’t a proof of the fidelity of the Indian husbands but it is due to the fact that Indian women remain blindbelievers of their husbands and donot suspect him of having any affair inspite of having sufficient evidence.And in the rare cases where she comes to know of her husbands infidelity she forgives him after he feeds her with some stupid excuses and if she refuses to accept the matter and raises a voice she is silenced permanently (many such cases of murder appear in the newspapers).In the latter case manytimes all evidence of murder is wiped of and no case atall is registered against the husband.Thus in neither of the cases is a a criminal case of extramarital affair is registered against the husband n so no question of divorce does arise.So the no. of divorce cases registered in India gets reduced substantially .Women have an inherent tendency of keeping a family together withstanding many problems and this nature gets amplified in the case of Indian women because of the huge amount of social responsibilities burdened on her shoulders.Even in today’s society the wife is mostly held responsible for the breaking up of the family because it is considered solely her responsibility to see to it that there is peace within the famly at all costs and she herself considers it a shameful if she cant do it.So for the sake of family prestige she overlooks it if her husband becomes unfaithful and considers it her inefficiency that she wasn’t able to keep her husband bound to the marital promises.If she has children with the man then she has more reasons to stick to him for the sake of the children inspite of the husband’s disloyalty.In most cases an Indian woman’s general reaction when she discovers her husband’s extra-marital affair is to not believe it and try to convince herself that she is somehow mistaken and the next step is to blame the other women for all that has happened overlooking her husband’s faults.The psychological reason behind this is that accusing the other women gives her mental peace since it is a way of illuding herself that her husband still loves her and that he is faultless because she finds it hard to accept that her beloved ,someone whom she has trusted so much,has taken those vows with can ever do something like this.In such a case she feels quite helpless and if she has children breaking up becomes even more difficult because of fear of lack of social security( a divorcee specially a single mother is quite vulnerable to social abuse in India).The western women are much more practical in matters of relationship n being more independent than the Indian women both socially (since their society doesn’t disapprove of divorced women or single mothers)and economically(since most of them are working) neither are they so helpless nor so foolishly forgiving about people who deserve it the least.Hence the no. of divorces in the west is naturally higher. By now I hope it is clear to u that the lesser no. of divorce cases in India isn’t an indication of the greatness of Indian men over their western counterparts but it results because of some social or emotional bindings on the part of the women.The men here are equally capable of stepping out of relationships for the sake of having fun with another woman their advantage being that their dirty works are less publicized ,thanks to their ‘ adarsh bharatiya nari ‘ wives who blindly trusts their ‘pati paremishwar’s.So I’ld suggest the mothers don’t turn ur noses up next time when u hear ur daughters going for a white groom because the Indian men are no better(read the newspapers u’ll agree with me) atleast u’ll have 99% gurantee that ur son-in-laws wont turn out to be a rapist or molestor (Indian men have made big records in the field of sexual assaults and their western counterparts are far behind them –India tops the list of crime against women) or ur daughter wont be burnt because of dowry reasons(8K brides were burnt in 2007). Rich NRI grooms remains Indian moms’ most favourite choice for their ‘little girls’ since they are unfortunately unaware of the horrible consequences of many such marriages(the no. of cases of NRIs ditching their wives or torturing them after taking them to foreign lands are shockingly large). Lastly I want to give my personal opinion and say be it desi or firangi ALL MEN MORE OR LESS ARE THE SAME so its better not to tie the knot at all and enjoy the bliss of being single.
