Iranian Ice Cream Attacks the United States

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The lousy neo-conservative Washington Post, which revers the state and idolizes war, recently published a piece warning about…ice cream. Yes, ice cream. But not just any ice cream: Iranian ice cream (cue the back round spooky music…wooooooooo).

Yes the Washington Post is appalled that an Iranian firm would have the bad taste, pun intended, to invest in a neighboring nation and open an ice cream parlor, of all things! To be fair the shop is called Uncle Jihad’s Bomblastic Ice Cream. So I can understand what the Americans are a little high-strung. And the scopes are being served “In the heart of Baghdad’s Green Zone, just yards from the mighty fortress of the biggest U.S. embassy in the world.”

In the coveted imperial zone next to the monstrous vizier embassy campus!

Those Iranians and their ways. And people underestimate Persians!

But what really irritates the Americans is that Uncle Jihad’s is booming with 34 flavors while the stopgap American occupation restaurant is winding down: “Next door is the fast-fading Freedom Restaurant, named in honor of the U.S.-led invasion and aimed at U.S. soldiers and contractors.”

Freedom Restaurant! Where do they come up with this? Incidentally Freedom Fires there are still called French fires.

I can make jokes, but none approach being as funny and bitingly witty as this letter to the editor:

Regarding the Dec. 20 front-page article “In Green Zone, an icy challenge to U.S. power”:

Persian ice cream in Baghdad? What will those fiendish Iranians do next? Hot dogs? Hamburgers? Oh, no, not tacos! To arms, Americans! Draft Ben and Jerry! Deploy Baskin and Robbins! We will take them on – flavor for flavor, scoop for scoop. And “Remember the a la mode!”

Robert Hunter, Washington

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