My Thoughts On Mothers’ Day

Today, the 21st of March, Jordan celebrates mothers’ day. It has become kind of a tradition to see the same kind of shows on television on this occasion, in one of which they discuss the situation of senior citizens left in nursing homes with no family members visiting them or caring about them. It saddens me every year to see such news, but I never cease to wonder what kind of family life these people have lived before they were left in a home.

I always hear comments from people around me about the cruelty of such children who would leave their parents in these homes and totally disappear from their lives. On some occasions I even heard people saying that this is their worst nightmare of the future; to be left in such a place without their kids visiting them or asking about them. This kind of comment usually makes me ask: would you do this to your parents? And the answer would always be: No, Never. And my reply would usually be: then don’t worry, this won’t happen to you, because you were well-raised, and this means that you would probably properly raise your children.

I have always had this theory about family dynamics, and it is a pretty simple one that makes no rocket science, it goes like this:
If you properly raise your children with enough love, care, and lots of values, this should prepare your children to be responsible adults who would always look for ways to repay you for the way you raised them up, and the positive part you took in their lives. How your children turn out is not a matter of coincidence or luck…

mother and child nid6c 19369

Moreover, I cannot help but remember a scene that I saw on Saturday, one day before mother’s day. The scene is of a mother who had sent her intellectually disabled child (who also happens to have an amputated arm) to live in a boarding school in Amman, and get therapy at the clinic where I work. This mother came to meet her son at the clinic after arriving from her country of origin, where she currently lives with the rest of her family (husband and other children). The child had arrived into the clinic a couple of minutes before the mother made her impressive entrance, as she looked so overdone in terms of clothes and make-up. She gave her son a cold hug, a kiss lacking in emotions, and a present. It all looked like the kind of greeting you would give to a distant relative. She then sat with his therapist asking about his therapy goals and his progress. Afterwards, the child went in for his therapy session, as she waited in the waiting area. When he finished his session, he gave his therapist a warm hug, while the mother got into her car and drove away, leaving her child behind to be sent back to school in a large orange school bus…

I try not to be judgmental here, and I am not generalizing, but I cannot help but think that if such scenes did not happen often, then maybe we would have less senior people left waiting alone in a cold room for their time of death…

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