In continuation with my article, “Violence against Women – A perception or a Reality” this article covers the topic of Violence against Men extensively as we head into October – The Domestic Violence Awareness Month. As explained in the prequel, there are principally four categories of violence, viz.
1. Female to Male Violence.
2. Female to Female Violence
3. Male to Male Violence
4. Male to Female Violence.
As already explained in the prequel, the society refuses to accept Female to Male violence and considers Male to Male violence as entertainment. And there lies the crux of this article. Because of over-hyped and often unnecessary feminist propaganda about Domestic Violence one always thinks about Violence against Women (VAW) as the only form of prevalent violence; however, that is not the topic of this article.
We can leave that duty safely to the 3300 odd NGOs working for women, the various state and national Commissions for Women, the Union Ministry of Women and Child Development and the 1200 crores of annual budgets allocated to them to create awareness about women victims in the age range of 15 – 49 before their menopause and the 15 laws to protect them.
Here we will talk about the Violence that men face. First of all it is neither funny nor entertaining about the fact that men are victims of Domestic Violence because only the Wearer knows where the shoe pinches. Because the society treats it either to be funny or entertaining for male victims of domestic violence it becomes double jeopardy for them.
First, in spite of being victims they are projected as false aggressors and made to undergo cruel and unusual legal procedures merely because some woman is shouting. It would be nice to have a cursory glance at “What a DV Arrest looks like?” How here the man is tased by the police officer merely because he has been accused and does not leave him unless he admits to false charges. Numerous such cases have come up where innocent men have been tortured based on assumptions whereas in reality it was found later that the woman was the real abuser and culprit.
Who is the more abusive gender here? And who get tagged as one? Because we are always comfortable viewing women as victims and men as aggressors going by our definition of physical prowess as the parameter to benchmark Domestic Violence, we allow men to get victimized and leave them unaddressed as well. However, as explained in the prequel, it’s not the physical strength but emotional strength that defines real violence, instigates it and makes it culminate in physical violence at times.
Psychologically it’s a well known fact that women are much stronger than men emotionally because the society takes great care of a woman’s emotional needs whereas castrates men emotionally from the age of 6 and thus it is very easy for a woman to abuse a man emotionally and instigate violence. But we have a norm of letting the instigators go scot free because they are ‘victims’ whereas punishing the reactor because they are ‘aggressors’.
The alarmingly high level to which men dread emotional violence is visible from this joke – Disadvantage of marriage – Take example of Columbus. However, as the society refuses to accept this as an abuse, it is left unaddressed as well and its victims – the men are left high and dry.
This is clear discrimination against men and unacceptable. Back home, the suicide figures should tell the story very clearly. Every year, almost double the numbers of men than women are committing suicides and their rate is increasing by 6 times every year. Various men’s rights organizations under the aegis of the Save Indian Family movement have been creating awareness of the same since the last 5 years. And forget others, even those men for whom the groups are fighting find it funny.
Old alpha male judges in high courts and supreme court find it heroic to pass insensitive remarks against a man like Justice Markenday Katju of the supreme court denied divorce to man after 17 years of arduous legal struggle saying that, “Bow down before your wives, if she says look this side, look this side. If she says look that side, look that side. Even if she sounds insensible, listen to her.”
Justice R V More of Bombay High Court is anyways on a high these days. Some of his remarkable statements made in recent judgments,
“Wife calling husband names like paagal (mad), buddhoo (idiot), gadha (donkey), is not cruelty”, whereas the same is an offense in the Domestic Violence Act wherein a wife can grab a man’s hard earned money and property legally by only making allegations (whether true or false) that he name-called me. On the other hand, for a man even a civil relief like divorce to start his life afresh is not available. Is this not Violence against Men?
“A quarrelling wife is not cruel”, was another masterpiece delivered by Mr. R V More from Bombay High Court some days back. And it took him 14 years to decide that! Is this not Violence against Men?
He could have told the man in the beginning itself, so that he would have gone and committed suicide. Judges’ thoughts are not independent, they delve in the same society in which we live and develop their thought process from the same society. This is not a one off case. It’s just that it’s reported in the media.
Above incidences clearly show the apathy that exists towards men. This is unacceptable. Unless the society accepts violence against men and addresses it, it has no rights to pass sermons to them the way nowadays judges are passing to men. Men are committing suicides and the society is laughing! The same society which expects men to undertake all responsibilities, risky and laborious jobs, don the role of a Protector and a Provider refuses to address their problems!
Why should men continue to be in the role of a Protector when the Protector himself is left unprotected? Why should men continue to be in the role of a Provider when their own basic rights are not provided to them?
Everyone is uncomfortable when violence against men is talked of, because, heart-in-heart everyone knows that in reality it’s the men who are the abused lot and still left unattended to and left to fend for themselves. Just because a few disgruntled radical gender obsessed feminists have created havoc, no one really has the guts and spirits to shut their mouth, close their shops and stop all this nonsense drama going on in the name of Women Empowerment clearly tells us how truths are untold and perceptions are sold as realities.
This October, men’ rights groups will be creating month long awareness about the Domestic Violence that men face and how the current laws are completely inadequate in addressing them. If anybody wishes to participate in the same, may do so by forwarding the below blog address to 5 of your friends.
Let us all participate in unfolding the untold truth of Violence against Men.