For many centuries, India witnessed rigid traditional rules for marriages – that too only arranged marriage was the common norm. However, the onset of a global modern India, has relaxed its views and rules of matrimony and more Indians are free to choose their life partners according to their compatibility today. This newfound freedom has also given rise to more marital break-ups than ever before – Divorce, was never probably even heard of during the time of our grandparents. So, is the decline in arranged marriage increasing the divorce rates in India? Or has the general psyche of the new Indians changed and it is affecting most of the marital breakdowns? Let us introspect the marriages today and understand the main causes leading to separations.
Arranged marriage Vs Love marriage
It would be unfair to say that love marriages end up in divorces and arranged marriages thrive successfully today. However, in an arranged marriage there will be intervention of families and elders before taking the drastic step of separation. Sometimes the cause of marital breakdown is the family itself! It is always helpful to turn to your family for advice when your marriage is on rough seas—be it arranged or love marriage, for that it is important to keep a cordial relationship with the spouse’s family which isn’t often the case nowadays.
Acceptance of divorcees
Earlier when divorce was unheard of, marital breakdowns used to be a family secret as it used to be looked upon as an incapability of the person being divorced; used to be more difficult for women to co-exist in the society being a widow, forget a divorce! Today as more Indians are educated, financially independent – especially women and women’s equality movements on the rise, the society has accepted divorcees in the society; there is no need to hang on to a relation just to satisfy the prejudice of the people around you. Having said that, there is a rise in intolerance between the couples too because of this and most of the gaps in relations are caused due to this.
Change in attitude
There is a general change in the way most of the couples today treat their marriages. Both the husband and/or wife being away from each other for job purposes, has led way for easy unwanted interactions with other people, which may lead to casual friendships. Even an unemployed spouse is not excluded, he-she generally is hooked on to the chat sites easily. These casual relationships usually give way to adultery and extramarital affairs. Today more work needs to be put into working out a marriage than before; couples need to prioritize their spouses and marriage.
It is a competitive world out there today; husband and wife are pitting against each other, comparing their works, salaries, qualifications and perks! They have forgotten that they are supposed to function as a team and not compete with each other for a smooth marriage. Because of the ego they carry within them, they don’t want to stoop to each other and try to outdo one another.
Now, with all respect we need to empower women in our society since the earlier societies had shunned women’s progress and it gave way to a male oriented one, but today this card is played wrongly and abused quite often. As women are empowered, they also should realize this empowerment comes with a responsibility that rests on them to make a better society for the male and female to co-exist harmoniously; it does not intend to create a future society where power has just shifted from the male centric one to a female oriented one! Over use of the downtrodden woman card and her need to get better is also seen as a major cause in divorce these days. Don’t blame every crisis you are in is just because you are a woman; it is a wonderful chance being a woman in this era and let the world know about it—by being the pillar of the marital institution.