Almost every day of our lives, we come across people and circumstances that we’d better avoid in the given situation. For example, when we find ourselves stuck in a soup and are looking for a way out, we have people all around us come up with various suggestions and advice as to what your next move should be.
Even otherwise, we often find people offering us lessons from their valuable life experiences that we’d rather not take. So, what do you do when that happens? How to say no? How do you turn down an offer without coming across as a rude, harsh person that seldom cares about the pain of others?
There is a thin line between staying your ground while refusing and letting others step on you, and you need to avoid stepping that line. Some tips you can use in such situations are these.
Wait for them to finish:
One of the best tips for refusing a favour is this: Before you even begin to thank and turn down their offer, wait for them to finish. This will, one, give you enough time to think if whether you really need it and, two, it will keep your well-wisher under the impression that you at least listened to what they were saying and gave it a thought.
This habit of how to say no goes a long way in building a good rapport with your friends and family. So, after this, even when you decline their advances, chances are they will take it sportingly. Try this out, it works wonders especially with impatient people.
Be generous with gratitude:
If you are looking for the safest of all tips for refusing a favour, it is this: When you are declining their idea, do so politely. Remember to thank them profusely for their advice, especially if you asked for it in the first place. Make sure you tell them that, given the current circumstances, you might not be able to act upon their sayings but will consider it for later.
All you need to do is let them know how much you value their offer but cannot possibly take it right now. Being generous with gratitude will convey to the person that, even if you are not considering their suggestion, you still value them and their opinions.
Don’t make a big deal out of it:
Now that you have used the tips for refusing a favour and rejected someone’s offer, things may have gone awkward. Your job here is to get them back to normal as good and as fast as you can. Never make a big deal out of it. Making a fuss over it and talking about it again and again may only bring the other person to shame, if they are of the sensitive sort.
Instead, try and normalise things between you two and look for different topics to talk about. This way, you’ll have calmed things down and there won’t be any awkward vibes around culminating into a frictional relationship.
Don’t overthink it:
This is specifically true for shy, introverted, and sensitive people. After turning down somebody’s favour or proposal for anything, such people tend to give themselves a lot of hate for doing so. If you are one of them, stop immediately! It is a good habit of staying your ground while refusing when you are being asked to do otherwise.
This habit of standing up for yourself, if kept up, paves way for self-love and self-worth and will eventually bring about good results. Lashing at yourself just for turning down an offer you wouldn’t have used anyway is sheer folly. So, take it easy on yourself and don’t overthink it.
If required, you can dish out a brief explanation as to why you are refusing the favour they are offering, for example, if your car breaks down and a colleague offers you a ride back home, let them know you can’t take it because you’ve called for a cab or someone else is picking you up.
Now this is one of those tips for refusing a favour that isn’t really important to do since you don’t need to explain your actions and decisions to others. But doing so will create a buffer and your friend might just understand your situation and leave you be instead of pushing it down with you.
Express your interest:
This is, perhaps, one of the smartest ways of rejecting somebody’s offer. You need to let them know that you are interested but cannot use it right now and will keep it for later. If needed, you may have to fake this interest for the sake of your relationship with that person, if it is worth valuing.
The smartest of all tips for refusing a favour is to express your interest but let them know that you are still trying to come up with something better or that you already have a better option on you. Either way, chances are that they will leave you alone without a bringing forth a grudging attitude.
Offer something else in return:
Lastly, if you wish to go out of your way in making the person feel more important since you just turned down their favour, you can offer something else in return. For example, if they offer a ride back home, you can refuse saying that today won’t be possible but the next time you will surely call them up for help.
This way it creates a sense of understanding and comfort along with standing up for yourself. Your friend or family member will understand their limits and will refrain from pushing you further. Also, a promise made intensifies the probable relationship, and that goes a long way in making, building, and maintaining healthy friendships.
People make offers all the time and people even turn them down more often than you think. So, if you are the receiving end of such advances and you are not in a position to take them, better turn them down using the above-mentioned tips.
Remember that these tips for refusing a favour will work 90% of the time. For the rest of the situations you might have to come up with your own tactics to deal with it depending on the circumstances and the type of person you are encountering.