As the news of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s love child with his housekeeper broke, a woman said to me that the solution to men’s infidelity is to cut off men’s penis. I can bet you that when we finish perambulating, we will come to that conclusion we all dread: there is a serious problem with the penis -that thing, without a bone, that rises by itself -sometimes, without a prompt. Since the beginning of time, women have been working on domesticating men. By that, I simply mean civilizing the penis. Or should I say, teaching it proper etiquettes. But it has been difficult. One of the reasons why it is tough is that the penis has only one eye. Most of the workshop role plays escape it. In the last century, a full scale feminization of men has been going on. But I’m sorry to report that it has not worked. The feminization of men led to the mass production of gay men. Women love them, but they have not been able to fulfill the role of men in women’s life. So the experimentation continues. As women often say, men are still thinking with their penis. And if you are familiar with the penis, you will notice that it has no brain. When you pour water on it, it shrinks. What kind of serious equipment reacts that way? If you punish it so much, it throws up. And the moment it throws up, it recoils. A recoiled penis learns nothing. So what do you expect from this penis? Maybe we should abandon the fantasy of educating the penis altogether. Let it live in its natural bushy state. The idea that a man can control himself when the penis is in the driving seat has consumed the world in the last 100 years that we have left undone important things we ought to have done. I’m for cutting off men’s penises. I believe most men will gladly accept that. If, an only if, such a drastic move will stop the vagina monologue.
