Ever since Obama started beating Hilary in the primaries, fear has been raised about him. Now that he is going head to head with John McCain, the fears have only gotten worse. But what are American’s afraid of? Do they have a reason to be scared?
For one, they are afraid because Obama is black. Well, half black, but that’s black enough to be scared of. I mean, who knows what the man might do with all that half-black blood in him? He might be affiliated with a gang. Bloods or crypts or something, and he could hire them all to be his cabinet. Then he’d try to pop a cap is someone’s ass. You never know!
Next, people are afraid because his father was (not only black) but also a Muslim. Although Obama has denied he is Muslim that doesn’t quell anyone’s fears. He could be a secret Muslim. He’s probably even friends with Osama bin Laden, I mean, their names sound alike enough. Also, his middle name is Hussein! Like Sadam Hussein? Yes! He might as well be named Barrak bin Secret Muslim Hussein Osama!
Not only are all of the above very frightening prospects, but Obama also wants to socialize medicine. He wants everyone in the US to get healthcare. What? Who wants healthcare when it’s so much fun to be in debt and sick? Anyway, socializing healthcare is the first step to communism. Add that to the list. Obama is a communist who hates sick people!
Now, if that’s not enough reason to be terrified of him, Stephan Colbert broke the story that Obama is a “secret time-traveling Nazi Muslim.” That’s right. He wanted to travel back in time and talk to Hitler. Who knew?
Also, I had a dream the other night that Obama was the commander of an army of undead llamas and horrible pirates. I know I just dreamed it, but it must be true! Who can trust a man to rule the US when he secretly controls zombies and pirates? Not me!
Finally, Obama wants the US to change. I know. I think it’s the worst possible thing too. If we have to change, it won’t be the same old same old. Things might actually get different. Gasp! Better? No! We can’t have that! Not if it’s in the hands of a Half Black Secret Muslim Communist Time Traveling Nazi with a terrible army at his whim! We’d rather just have another four years of good old Bush, please.
