So your wife just told you that she wants a divorce and you have this sinking feeling in your gut. Your whole world is crumbling right before your eyes. You are worrying about how this is going to affect your relationship with your children, or maybe even your pets. You’re thinking about how your life is going to change and what you’ll do without your wife. Sure, you’ve had some rough patches here and there, but you didn’t realize things were going that badly for the two of you.
Take a deep breath. I know it seems bleak, but all is not lost just yet! Your wife feels like your marriage is hopeless and she is not fulfilled by it any longer. That does not mean that she can’t enjoy being with you once again, but you’ll have to make some serious changes.
No, I do not want you to grovel to her, or even to beg her to change her mind- Quite the opposite in fact. You are going to change yourself for the better, become more independent and maybe even get your wife back in the process. Follow the following steps and you will be well on your way to a happier life, and maybe a happier marriage as well!
Take a Step Back
If you are really at risk of having a divorce, it’s time to cool off from your relationship before things get even worse. Step away from the relationship a bit and go on with your life. Avoid the urge to cling to your wife if she asks for a divorce, and instead focus on your own life.
Pursue your hobbies, work on improving yourself and figure out what really makes you happy. By being independent, you are showing that you have a life of your own and that you aren’t desperate for your wife. Chances are good that this will make you more attractive to your wife.
Not only that, but it will help you get in touch with who you really are without your relationship getting in the way. You will likely learn some stuff about yourself as well during this time.
Honesty is Important
Now that you have backed off and you’re going on with your life without obsessing about your wife, it’s time to work on being more honest as well. Don’t sugar coat how you feel about her, and instead be honest about your relationship including the things that you don’t like about it.
Accept the things that you did wrong in the relationship, but never apologize for them. Be real, and explain improvements that you would like to see in your relationship in the future if you are going to have one.
Dare to Forgive
Honesty has its downside. While being honest with your wife you might learn some things about her that you do not like. If you want to have any hope of saving your marriage, you need to seriously consider forgiving your wife for the things that she admits to.
Be willing to forgive her and move on with your life, or walk away from the relationship itself. Do not live in denial and don’t hold a grudge, or your relationship is never going to work anyway, even if you drag it on. It feels good to forgive, and it is the only way that you will stand a chance of getting forgiveness for your actions as well.
List Pros and Cons
This might sound like a bad idea, but have your wife sit down with you and both of you make a list with an equal number of things that you like about each other, and things that you dislike.
Use the list as a way to get a conversation going. You will be amazed at how much you end up sharing from this exercise, and it could bring you closer together as well. Just be careful not to go too overboard with the cons. This is a good exercise for teaching you how to be honest with your wife as well.
Find a Hobby
I know what you are thinking – how does finding a hobby help you with your wife? It makes a real difference though- believe me. Having your own interests and hobbies will make you a more interesting and attractive person.
Branch out, try some new things in life and you will have an easier time connecting with and appealing to your wife.
What are you waiting for? Start taking action to save your marriage! Each of these steps is an important milestone toward saving your marriage, and it is a way to enrich your own life. You will learn new things about yourself, bolster your confidence and become the man you’ve always wanted to be in the process.
Article Submitted By Community Writer